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Monday, 29 August 2016 01:45

We want the good, the bad and the ugly

People want to know how they are performing. They want to know if they are valued and how they can improve. They want to know how they are perceived.  

Even if it hurts.

We would rather know.  Than not.

I have been helping people become better versions of themselves for over 15 years.  Almost every time I ask them, “What’s been your most valuable piece of feedback?”, do you know what they tell me?  The most valuable was….

“When I was told about my blind spot.” 

“When I was told I am rude.” 

“When I was told that I tell, not ask.” 

“When I was told I am not a team player.”

It’s not that they don’t rate the good stuff.  But there is a clear theme -  it’s the tough stuff that has had the greatest impact.  Yet it requires courage to give someone tough feedback right?  Sure does.  Yet it’s exactly what they need… and want. 

They want it. You want it.  We all need it.

According to the Harvard Business Review ‘Your Employees Want The Negative Feedback You Hate To Give’65% of employees want more than they are getting and a staggering 98% of employees will fail to be engaged when managers are giving them little or no feedback.

We want it, but we are not prepared to give it.  It’s not just employees and managers.  It’s colleagues, clients and team mates.

I know why.  It’s tough.  Fear gets in the way.  We don’t want to ruin the relationship.  We just don’t know how or navigating their reactions can also become a reason to avoid. 

If I had a dollar for every time I heard this during a mentoring session; “I reacted so poorly when I was given the feedback; I became really defensive when I was told; After I heard the feedback, I then told them what I thought of their flaws”. All of them will admit it was not their proudest moment.  Yet the content that was delivered went deep.  Deep into their psyche and they heard it.  Their reaction did not equate to the value of the feedback, but they acted on it.  Maybe not at the time.  But they heard it and acted on it.

The feedback that was given to them was tough to give.  And it was tough to receive.  Yet it mattered and was valued.

The good news is…it’s easier than you think.  You just need to learn.

Start by reading Georgia’s book ‘Fixing Feedback’ &/or subscribe to her blogs via www.georgiamurch.com

About Georgia

Georgia is obsessed with the power of great communication. She knows how great communication leads to great collaboration and helps create outstanding cultures.


Email: niki@georgiamurch.com

Phone: 0402 119 333

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