This one is for you Kathryn and everyone else who can relate. She asks;
“I’m shifting my focus to identifying what really brings me joy and energises me, then I will surrender the balance. Any ideas on pulling that joy and energy list together quickly? You know patience and I are a little awkward”.
OK this is a goodie as I know so many of us can relate. Firstly, the intentional shift of mindset to look for the things that bring you joy and energy is brilliant! Whilst that would seem to be a no brainer, too few of us actually understand where our happy place comes from and rarely take the next step and create a plan to make sure it is a consistent part of our lives.
A friend of mine, who is pure joy to be around, is Keith Abraham. He is an author, speaker and expert in helping people ‘harness their PASSION, achieve their GOALS and FOCUS on what’s most important to bring the best out of themselves and their businesses. He has discovered the link between best performance and people who are passionate about their life’.
Years ago, when I read his books; ‘It Starts With Passion’ and ‘Living Your Passion’ and did the homework, I reframed and recreated how I wanted to do life. No longer was I doing life with a blank sheet. I had the ideas pouring out of me based on categories such as travel, money, family, etc….
This then stirred my need for adventure and what that looked like and what I needed to do to action it. Travel, day trips and trying new things have been so significant in balancing my world. This is only one example. Thank you Keith. So good!
The question that I find interesting to ponder on is the irony of; ‘finding your joy and energy quickly. THEN (surrendering) the balance’. There are so many layers to this. To find our happy place and live our life with true purpose, which comes first, the list of things and actioning them or the surrendering the balance?
I don’t think it’s fix the external and the internal will follow, nor the other way around. It’s both and they are dependent on each other. That’s like saying to your partner – once you start picking up your clothes off the floor – I will become more relaxed. It’s both!
Surrender requires patience and patience brings us joy. It’s part of the package. Patience suspends judgement – of ourselves and others. Patience is part of finding our happy place. The opposite of this is impatience – which is the cousin of control. When things are not going fast enough for us it’s because we have decided the timing. We have decided the when. When we stay in this place and are not able to surrender we can’t really listen to ourselves or those around us. We are mini tsunamis. Well I know I have regularly lived in this space. It isn’t any good to me or those around me.
So if you want to find what brings you joy.. go internal as well. Do the work on yourself. Find out why you need things to be your way and your timing. It’s genuinely revolutionary and a game changer.
BUT be prepared to get what you ask for. I’ve recently been asking for more humility, and then to get what I want, part of it is being humbled. OUCH! I’ve had a few conversations with others recently that have done just this. My ego has suffered, and it needs to, to be able to grow.
So if you really want to be more patient… be prepared to have that tested.
‘Patience is a bitter plant, but it’s fruit is sweet’. This Chinese proverb certainly rings true.
You can choose to surrender the fight and sit in the discomfort or push back and keep doing things as you are. The good thing about life is that we get to choose our own adventure and often our progress is based on the decisions that we make and choose to sit in. Resting and surrendering to what happens is not lazy. It’s how we grow patience and therefore joy.
Also make sure you have meditation on your list. Start with 10 minutes a day – if you don’t have 10 minutes – make sure you do 20 mins. Yep that’s what I said. May the force be with you 😉