Jacko and I were in the car last week. He was driving. I always like it when he’s driving coz we tend to have awesome conversations. We were talking about sex and whether it’s different for men and women. I know right?! So good. And then we got onto life. Just knocking off some small topics on the way to Chiropractor you see.
He then says; “Mum, I think I’ve worked out life”. I’m like, OK spill it. “It’s all about your feelings. Your feelings are just made up. And whatever you decide to believe will become how you feel about it. I think it’s one of the reasons why I don’t let things phase me. I can pysch myself in or out of things. I can decide that this exam result is going to affect me for the rest of my life or not. Or maybe I am just being lazy and living in denial”.
“Mum. Why aren’t you saying anything?” I respond with; “Jacko, it takes some people a really long time to work that out. And some people never do. I’m just sitting here being really impressed.”
He watches a lot of Sci Fi. I think he’s having a Matrix moment. If you haven’t seen it, there is a scene where the main character, Neo, is waiting to meet with ‘The Oracle’ and in the waiting a small bald child who is dressed like a Buddhist Monk is sitting on the ground. He has a spoon in his hand, let’s call him ‘Spoon Boy’, that he bends in half, with what appears to be his mind. He then says to Neo;
“Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth”.
Neo responds; “What truth?”
Spoon boy; “There is no spoon”
Neo; “There is no spoon?”
Spoon boy; “Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself”.
I’ve just finished an amazing read; ‘The Fifth Agreement’. Read the ‘The Four Agreements’ first if you want to learn some amazing principles to live your life by. But the fifth one challenges all my thinking. It is written by don Miguel Ruiz and his son Jose Ruiz. It reminds us that the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the freedom to be who we really are. The one we were born to be. Without bias, disappointment, mistrust, blame or resentment. That happens to us as we grow older and do life. Yet we have the chance to choose how to ‘feel’ about it all. And in fact, those feelings are not even true.
So the question is – Is Jacko becoming a Spoon Boy? No. The question is – what’s a situation that you are giving meaning to at the moment that might just be a feeling that you can change. Maybe your feeling is like the spoon. It’s not true. And YOU need to bend and change rather than the situation or the other person.
If my 17 year old can do it, I reckon we are all in with a chance.