Part 1 – Learning to be Holey

I first came across the phrase ‘flawsome’ years ago when I heardit coined by Tyra Banks. Tyra is a supermodel and the creator and executive producer of America’s Next Top Model. She is one of the pioneering African American supermodels following in the footsteps of Naomi Campbell in what was once a white-dominated industry. She became the first ever African American to be on the cover of the Victoria’s Secret catalogue, and was a catwalk model with them until 2005. She has pushed against racism for her entire career, but that isn’t all she has stood against. During her career Tyra was dropped from modelling and designer contracts after she put on some weight, because she was considered to be too curvy. Rather than starving herself and conforming to the industry standards, she decided to embrace her look and work with agencies who chose to do the same. Tyra stands for being flawsome. She chooses to celebrate her ‘flaws’ and see them as what make her awesome; to rejoice in her humanity and not hide from it. She decided that her aim wasn’t perfection, it was distinction. How cool is that?

Not long after Tyra started producing America’s Next Top Model, photos appeared in the tabloids showing her in a swimsuit with noticeable curves and cellulite. The photos were featured alongside an article titled: ‘America’s Next Top Waddle’. She was working in an industry that expected and aimed for perfection, but this only spurred her on more. As a judge on the TV show, she taught women and men to highlight the things aboutthemselves that were different from the ‘norm’: highlight your freckles, celebrate your curves, love your nose that’s bigger or teeth that have gaps between them. Make your flaws your own.

Tyra is committed to using her platform to help everyone, especially young women, embrace their imperfections such as weight fluctuations, weird facial features and crooked teeth. I know, it’s easy for her to do this when she looks like an Amazonian goddess. But the point is, celebrating your flawsomeness in an industry that doesn’t rate imperfections is big. She has taken a stand against body shaming.

Tyra Banks and her flawsomeness got me thinking. If her legacy is about celebrating physicality in all its forms, why can’t we do the same for our humanity? Why can’t we choose to see the things about ourselves that we’ve decided are not cool as a unique part of us – part of what makes us human and perfectly flawed?

Tyra taught me that being flawsome means accepting all of yourself. This doesn’t mean you love all of yourself all of the time; being flawsome requires you to constantly reframe your thoughts, especially if, like me, you are starting to nudge your 50s and bits are sagging that you never knew you had. But I am committed to my own evolution, and I am getting stronger at observing my judgement rather than latching on to it.