I’m not much of a fan of feeling lethargic. Most of my holiday was in this permanent state of zombie impersonations. So I didn’t do much. I didn’t have it in me. It felt like pushing through mud. And no matter how much sleep I got I still felt exhausted. Then I got to thinking…
What if I am not awake because of my choices not my slumber?
What if being awake is about knowing and experiencing what is going on around and within you? If we are awake to how we really feel and all the emotional colours of the rainbow then life has a different energy about it. We are no longer fighting what we don’t like, who we struggle with (including ourselves) and how we show up.
What if when imposter syndrome arises we can thank it for showing up and try to understand it’s origin so it loses its power. What if when we are asked to present and we fall trap to anxiety we can welcome it and be aware of what story we have made it mean? What if your partner or close friend shuts you out and you acknowledge the emotions you are bringing to the dynamic?
Being awake to what is really going on requires courage. Because it comes from the heart. And the heart is the birthplace of joy, love, compassion and kindness. It’s also the place that stores pain, fear, resentment and blame.
Sarah Blondin in her book Heart Minded says that;
‘All that will matter, all that will ever amount to anything, is the relationship you have with the world you carry around inside of you’.
The light and dark of your emotions will always live side by side. When we are not awake to these emotions we do not receive the lesson they are there to teach us. I am learning that the more I listen to how I feel and what I am experiencing then I make better choices. When I do this, I am alive. I am not dead to parts of me I don’t want to acknowledge or feel.
So when I feel resentment creeping in, where is this coming from? Is it true? What is a response that serves me better? If I can learn to be awake to these feelings instead of feeding them, I am lighter.
This requires energy and work to learn how to do. To be awake. Who wants to be conscious of what and how you do life this year? I do. Then do the work.
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