The end of financial year is upon us and is loaded with challenges. Whether it’s preparing end of year reports, balancing bonuses’ to be paid, preparing for performance reviews, or trying to remain healthy through the mania, so you can recharge for the new financial year. Either way, there’s stuff to deal with and stuff to avoid.
When we are stressed, tired and have a lot on our plate we tend to react in ways that we regret because our defenses are down.
Picture this all too familiar scenario. Yet another email lands asking for something else to add to your already growing ‘to do’ list. A colleague then highlights a major block to a project that you’re currently working on. A client calls to say they are not happy with an element of the service they are receiving. Then, one of your Managers, who is aggressive with little self awareness pops their head in to let you know that their colleague has a ‘poor attitude’ and that she wants to give them a ‘slice of her mind’.
If you are a fighter by nature, you’ll want to let them know what you really think.
If you are a flighter you’ll want to run from the drama and avoid conflict.
When things become busy or overwhelming we begin to make choices about what we tackle and what we avoid. These choices are often based on how we are wired – resulting in us becoming either fighters or flighters.
Stalling on the wrong things can be like gambling your money away.
Stalling on the right things can be like winning the lottery.
In the context of managing yourself during stressful conversations or interactions, I propose that stalling in these instances can be a good thing. If you are going to say something you regret, then stall. If you are going to retreat and have a poor outcome, stall the retreat. And as the last resort, if you are not in the right frame of mind to tackle the tough conversation well, then stall. But not for long. Hop back on the ‘bike’ as soon as possible, otherwise it will become bigger than it needs to.
‘A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret.’
I believe in developing the vital tools and confidence to have remarkable conversations that lead to outcomes, not outbreaks. If you want to know how, talk to Georgia Murch.