Wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to deal with people every day? We would get soooo much done. Although, wouldn’t it be a shame if this thought became our etymology, our belief system? Where we really believed that having to build relationships with people is a hassle.
People tell me that relationships at work don’t have to be personal. That we can collaborate and get things done without having to be friends. But here’s the news people….
BUSINESS IS PERSONAL. Because people are involved.
Morag Barrett, the founder of SkyeTeam and author says that; ‘Business is personal, and relationships do matter’. Business is a team sport. You are dependent on others for your success. Remember it’s the inter-dependent relationships that really accelerate success.
Personal relationships at work don’t mean you need to know each other’s deepest fears, or their children’s birthdays or even what they did on the weekend. You just need to acknowledge that relationship building IS personal because it’s about people.
If you don’t get this… you don’t get life. Or you are an island.
If you don’t want to be working with people, go and find some robots to work with. Yet working with robots day in day out and having little human interaction would cause isolation. And isolation causes sickness (physical and mental).
Because we are wired for connection. To be seen. To see others and to know each other. And if this still doesn’t make sense (or even if it does) do yourself a favour and get yourself a copy of Sebastian Junger’s book ‘Tribe’. Junger proves through experience and research, how strongly we are wired to connect. And it’s not in spite of things being hard… it’s when they are hard that we draw to each other the most. He says;
‘Avoiding human connection will not get the best from people’. Avoiding building relationships is like trying to put the wrong ends of a magnet together where they repel, you just can’t do it.
If you repel people – Houston we have a problem.
Let’s see if you are holding on to any false beliefs about relationship building. Do you sometimes think;
- If I have the tough conversation, the relationship will suffer. We think that how we relate will be different because they won’t like what we have to say. And maybe they won’t like us at the end of the conversation.
- That you need to keep your distance to maintain respect. In fact, if you are over 40 this may have been something that you were taught. That if you show them your faults, fears and human side that they won’t hold you in high regard. It’s B.S.
- What about ‘I can’t be friends with people I lead’? After all, how will you be able to hold them to account or give them the feedback they need if you’re mates?
- Maybe you break out in a rash with the dreaded ‘R’ word… Relationship. You don’t want to have them at work. They’re not your thing.
Relate to any of these? You’re not alone.
If you want to find out how to assess the relationships you have at work (coz you have them whether you call it that or not) and find out how to make them better, enroll yourself in my Kick Ass Catch Ups online training program.